New Hair, New Camera

I've been feeling like it's maybe time to grow my hair out again, but before I do, I decided to go as short as I think I'd ever care to... and the timing works out well with my impending trip to Portland to shoot Doomsday Knits. So I went to see our brilliant friend David at his salon in Ann Arbor and had him razor the shit out of my hair, apocalypse-y style! (As much as I enjoy cutting my own hair, I don't trust myself to go too much shorter than shoulder length on my own.)

 

I wanted something that I could sleek-out for the cybery chapter, and then scruff up for everything else. I think this fits the bill. I'm still sort of learning out to style it (I tried curling it the other day- see below- it was rather Betty Boopish) but I liked it immediately and it's only grown on me since then (badumching!) I might end up maintaining it a little longer before I grow it out, actually. We'll see.

   

In other news, I finally retired my old Nikon D70 and treated myself to something a little newer. It's not necessarily fancier, but I kind of fell in love with Vivian's and decided to be a big ole copycat. It took a solid day of manual-reading to facilitate my camp switch (I'm a traitor, I know) and I'm definitely still getting the hang of it, but so far I'm pleased with my decision. I also shelled for a slightly wider angle lens so that I can actually fit things inside the frame when I'm indoors (I love my 50mm/f1.8, and I did re-buy it for this camera too, but you have to stand REALLY far away to get more than a few feet of space in the shot.)

  

 And of course, the dogs were willing test subjects.

   

Pro-tip, clean the eye goop off your dog's face before taking their portrait. Also I think Rupert might have a lazy eye. Hmm. One dog with a lazy eye and one with an underbite. I sure do pick the pretty ones.

   

(That composition is terrible but the unnecessary shameface is pretty good. "....Why are you pointing that robot eye at me? What did I do? Aw shit.")

Terrariums and Romance

So. Busy. Gaaaaackcan'tbreathe.

But nevertheless, I wanted to post pictures of the terrarium I made recently for my friend's bridal shower.

 

 

I'd wanted to find some little romantic figurines, maybe a little house. But all I could find locally (I waited too long to order anything) was a guy drinking beer, a dinosaur, and some crystals and fool's gold. Also, green glitter, because I figured that probably wouldn't kill moss and glitter is awesome. So, you know. Totally romantic.

 

Drunk Guy + Dinosaur 4ever

 

Moss terrariums are blissfully easy, and pretty hard to kill even if you're bad at plants like I am. Small rocks in the bottom, dirt on top of that, scrape a chunk of moss off the tree or sidewalk outside, and plop it on in. The "tree" is some sort of...plant...or something...that I found at a garden store and that seemed terrarium-friendly. Anyway, then you just fill it fulla fun stuff and mist the sucker relatively frequently (or less often if it has a lid.) Wahoo!

 

I'm Okay, You're Okay: On Target Markets

There is a thing I have noticed in pretty much every walk of life where money is exchanged, and that thing is this:

"Well if so and so wants MY money...." 

"If that plumber wants MY money he better be willing to work on weekends!" "If that designer wants MY money she better use yarn that I can afford!" "If that clothing company wants MY money they better use exclusively organic cotton!" "If that business wants MY money they better put their phone number in their ads!" "I would never give MY money to someone with a dressed-up cat in their commercial!"

Dunno who this guy is but I want us to be bffs. 

Many people seem to think of themselves as the ultimate consumer- as though *their money* is the grand prize that every business in the world should be bending over backwards to get. But here's the thing:

Not everyone wants your money. 

Sometimes they want somebody else's money- maybe someone who feels the polar opposite of the way you feel. And that's okay. Businesses have target markets, and a lot of the time? You are not in it. They don't want your money, because you will not be happy with their product, and unhappy customers are neither fun nor profitable. For example, I will probably never do significant business with a company that doesn't have a website or communicate by email. I don't like using the phone, and I am not about to start unless it's absolutely necessary. Ariel at the Offbeat Empire sites has posted about how she gently discourages advertisers who will only work by phone, because she knows that HER target market (which I fall into pretty solidly, except that I've never seen Dr Who) is websavvy and largely phonephobic.

But that's okay! Because there are people out there who hate the internet (gasp!) and will only do business over the phone and that's who the phone-businessers should be focusing on. There's no point in my bitching about someone who relies on the phone when I could just find someone who's happy to email me and let phony-mc-phone-pants deal with someone they're right for instead. To do otherwise is like complaining to some random guy "Hey, you are not my dream man, WTF? This is your fault, and a serious failing on your part. I am telling everyone I know that you suck."

This guy can be in our club too.

Recently I saw some folks talking about how they don't like "styled" photos on knitwear patterns- they prefer to see the item in question on a plain background with a plain outfit so they can see the barebones details with minimal distraction. That's fine, but... that'll never be me. I love the styling part (even if I'm occasionally a little lazy about it.) I like finding interesting backdrops. I try to take lots of pictures that will give people all the information they need, but they're never going to be done in a clinical, methodical way. So what? That just means that those folks are not my target market. If I were to worry about losing those customers and change my ways to please them, I'd displease people who like styled pictures. So never the twain shall meet. But (I'll say it again) that's absolutely okay! It ain't nothin' personal and there are designers out there who work differently and who'll love to have their business. (It may shock you to learn that I'm also not too big among devoted lace knitters and people who hate hats. Whodathunk?)

Is this distracting enough or should I put some more shit in the background?

Basically... no business can please everyone. No anything can please everyone. Just remember, when you see something you think is ridiculous, or stupid, or overpriced, or ugly, or otherwise somehow displeasing to you... chances are good that it's simply not "for" you. And. That's. Okay. 'Cause it's probably for someone.*

 
(Twisp and Catsby are definitely "for" me, btw. Also I realize this comic seems to be making the opposite point, but it's funny anyway.)

*I think the now-retired site Regretsy did a pretty good job of demonstrating this- no matter what weird, bizarro stuff they posted, someone out there thought it was amazing and bought it up immediately. 

"The Room" Valentines

Okay first of all, it's not funny if I have to explain it, so if you haven't seen "The Room" you can remedy that here. Go on, trust me, it's worth it. These'll still be here when you get back.

If you are already familiar with Tommy Wiseau's masterpiece, you can express your love the Room way this Valentine's day with the following grainy jpegs:

You're welcome. 

Eyeshadow Follow-up

After yesterday's post I went a bit nuts and cream-i-fied pretty much all the powders I had that had enough room in their jars, using the oil & alcohol method. The diffferent powders all react a bit differently to the process- some mix easily, some definitely do not, some have dried well, some are still very liquidy (which might have to do with how much oil I added vs how much stuff was left vs the texture of the powder vs whoknowswhatelse.)

All are fairly usable, though I'm going to let a few dry out a bit more before I put the caps on.

On the top is the dry powder, bottom is the new cream. 

Bathroom Chemistry: Cream Shadows from Powders

I have a really hard time finding affordable cream eyeshadows that don't contain yicky ingredients. I thought I'd hit paydirt when I found this etsy seller, but unfortunately she puts a sizable amount of fragrance in every batch and it's too strong for me to use (which sucks because I bought a LOT of it. If it weren't for the perfuminess, I'd love the heck out of it- it works well. But seriously, why does eyeshadow need to have a smell!?! *Weep* But it's my own fault for not reading carefully.) 

Anyway, I thought maybe it would be easy to turn some of my mineral powders into creams. You can always mix them with water right before you put it on, but that's not the same and requires an extra step... I know I'd use them more if they were creams. Googling around, I found two methods: the alcohol and oil method, and a bunch of people just mixing the shadow with primer. I grabbed two powders that I like but don't use that often and gave them each a whirl. 

  The Powders: 

 

 Both are loose mineral powders from Shiro Cosmetics (don't click that unless you want your money to leave you in a hurry. So. Sparkly. So. Pretty. So. Nerdy.) The one on the left of the tattoo-line is Impossible, on the right is More Sugar. Both are very sheer when applied dry- Impossible is basically just a faint shimmer. 

Alcohol and Oil Method:

I used grapeseed oil, because it has a pretty long shelf life and shouldn't go rancid before I finish using up the shadow. My rubbing alcohol was only 70% but, y'know, use what you have, right? I followed the directions, mixing everything up in the original container with a fondue fork, which was... a tad messy. I'm not sure if I really got to the "smooth liquid/paste starting to separate from the alcohol and look lumpy and curd-like" stage, because I ran out of room in the container and couldn't add more oil. I figured it'd just end up being a little on the dry side maybe. It also never reached a point where I could "tip off the excess alcohol" and several hours later was still looking odd and soupy, but the next day....

 

That's totally how it's supposed to look! Omg!

 

It must have just taken forever to evaporate because my alcohol wasn't very high-proof or whatever. But it totally works! The shimmer + oil gives it a "wet shine" kinda look which can be sort of intense but isn't too overpowering in such a light color. I look forward to trying it with some serious-business colors though. 

Pros:

It works

You get to feel like a mad scientist

The ingredients are cheap and nontoxic (once the alcohol evaporates)

Removes easily with soap, make up remover, or whatever else you'd use on a mineral shadow

Cons:

Definite waiting period fraught with uncertainty

Will eventually go rancid if I don't use it up

Alcohol smells bad (not a problem once it evaporates, just when you're using it.) 

Involves fiddly meting out of liquids into tiny containers

 Just Mix it With Primer Method:

I don't usually use primer but I had a little tube of this that came with a shadow set, so that's what I used. It has fewer nasty ingredients than most primers do, but it's also a very thick gel, which turned out to be a big mistake. It was NOT stirrable. I made a huge mess trying to mix it in before finally giving up and putting the whole shebang in a bigger container, where I continued to make a huge mess. It was thick enough that it really needed to be kneaded in, by tiny little fairy hands, or perhaps by these guys. But since I had no baby loris handy, I just hacked away awkwardly with my fondue fork, and basically ended up with powder-covered wads of primer surrounded by chunks of powder.

   

Also I spilled some of the "Impossible" earlier. Eyeshadow everywhere.

 Applied, it does resemble something like a cream shadow....

   

... but too chunky and uncontrollable to be useful. I might sacrifice an old paintbrush later and see if I can't mix it together more uniformly. I think, though, that with a thinner primer, this might have worked well. (It was also a nightmare to get off. Actually some of it is still on there.)

Pros:

Probably would work with a thinner primer

Immediate results

Easy, since there are only two ingredients

Shouldn't really ever go bad

Will stay on for.ev.er. 

Cons:

Does NOT work well with thick primer

Is only as non-toxic as the ingredients in the primer (and usually they're horrible)

You don't get to feel like a fancy alchemist

Will stay on for.ev.er. 

In conclusion: My husband is a wonderful and tolerant man and I hope that the fact that our bathroom looks like the scene of a brutal fairy murder will not be a dealbreaker, because that shit is not easy to get off when it's glued on with primers and oils. 

(Also, I like the first method better.) 

Christoween Part 3: Decor

Wrapping up the goodness that is Christallowmasween, we have...decor! I basically gathered up all the vaguely spooky items that we own and put them on the mantel, plus lights and a few dining room things. I actually really like the mantel and have no intention of moving the stuff on top, though I'll take the lights and hanging "Creepy Fabric" down (that's what it was labeled as at Target. Awesome.)

Sup, dead wedding flowers?

Army of owls!!

Apparently owls are very spooky this year. 

But are they as spooky as whiskey ads from 80's playboys and octopi??

 

 

 

This candle (and it's identical twin) was a gift from Travis's late grandmother. They are so divinely creepy and awesome and amazing. Low res action shot here. 

 

That's a snake skin the jar, there. From Long Charles (our under-porch snake), we think.

All of my plants end up dead or mutated :-(

Is that not the most perfect book of Poe tales you've ever seen?

Know what's totes creepy? Iodine and insulin. FROM THE PAST!! WOOooOOOooo.

And here are a few night shots:

 

 

See my new Chibi Totoro??? I screamed a little when I opened it. I didn't even like the movie that much but Chibi Totoro is my favorite thing that ever was. Since he is kind of a ghost he gets to be on the creepy mantel. 

 

The weird thing is that those green dots that are in every picture seem to have come from nowhere, which obviously means they're ghosts, because there is no other explanation, like camera weirdness or something. Nope. Ghosts. 

 

Oh, and we found a tree-topper! Kinda. It's an ornament. But whatever, close enough!

And thus concludes the holiday abomination that is Christoween. Next year I'm thinking...seafoam and red. But we'll see. OMG WHAT IF WE DID VALENTMAS? Or St. Hallowtine's....