Friday, October 7, 2011

Cake Balls: Yummy like cake, with twice the work!

I was planning on titling* this post "See, I'm not completely useless in the kitchen" but then my cake balls came out looking like this:


So... apparently I kind of am. Though to be fair, those are the balls I covered with Wilton's Shitty Shitmelt, which I'm pretty sure is made of equal parts candle wax and shattered dreams. They lured me in with their "Midnight Black" color, preying heartlessly on my debilitating** weakness for halloween and my sentimentality for my brief goth phase. "Black cake balls!" thought I, with childish glee. "With red velvet inside! It will be so halloweeny!"

Long story short- it never reaches a dippable consistency, it just gets all toothpasty. Like thick frosting. The package says you can thin it with vegetable shortening (yum?) but of course I didn't have any around since I assumed, foolishly, that candy melts would actually melt. Travis had the brilliant idea to cut it with some coconut oil, which did significantly help the consistency, though I'm a little wary of the added flavor. Coconut + red velvet + cream cheese? Hmm.

Anyway, I ran out of that crap pretty quickly and covered the rest in regular old dark chocolate:


Much better. Granted, they're still more "cake blob" than "cake ball," but listen, I am an artist. You can't just expect me to conform to everyone else's idea of "what a cake ball should look like" or "what kind of sprinkles actually show up on chocolate" or "how many of them I can eat without throwing up."

It really did look great at the cake stage. I should've just stopped there. Oh well.


This is pretty much the "recipe" I used, except I made homemade cream cheese frosting instead of canned stuff (and I have a lot of it left... need to think up a use for it.)

*I can't believe that's actually how you spell that. Tit-ling. Snorgt.

** I used to get extra time on exams in September and October because the teachers knew I was too busy fantasizing about costumes.***

*** That's a lie, and a tasteless one at that.

Friday, September 30, 2011

Glitter shoes!

This was going to be the first installment of glitter week...but after spending a half hour spitting glitter after trying to make glitter lip balm (vaseline + glitter = nope,) I'm gonna go ahead and not pressure myself. But since I caved the other day and bought this:


You can expect to see some more glittering happening real soon.

But anyway! Glitter shoes!


Neat eh?


-Shoes you don't love anymore
-Glue - I used Aleene's Jewel-It because it's meant for glueing rhinestones to fabric, so I figured glueing glitter to shoes was similar. Lots of people have luck with Mod Podge though.
- A container & stir stick
- A paintbrush you can bear to part with
- A tray of some sort (I used a shoebox lid) and maybe some card stock to make a funnel (to get extra glitter back in the tube.)
- Sandpaper, if you're working with shiny shoes.
- An easily cleaned space, or a space you don't care about (our porch is now permanently sparkly) because you are probably going to make a huge mess.

And yes, I'm stirring with a penis straw, left over from my bachelorette party. Let's take a closer look, shall we?


Amazing. The sort of sick part is that they took the time to make veins on it, yet the balls are super totally uneven. Apparently realistic circulation was more important. Anyway, I figured I didn't care if it got covered in glue.

Step 1: Sand down your shoes if they're shiny and smooth. I don't truly know if this is necessary but I feel like it makes the glitter stick a bit better.


Incidentally you may recognize these shoes from this pattern. I swear I had way more people interested in buying the shoes than in making the spats, haha.

Step 2: Water down your glue (but not as much as I did- go for "paste-y", not "milky". I had a lot of dripping.) Stir it well, and start painting it on the shoes with the paintbrush, doing just one section for now.


Step 3: Glitter that bitch UP. Be generous, and hold it over your tray. You can get the extra back later. Let it sit for a second, then shake/tap it gently to get most of the extra off.


Step 4: Repeat that all over both shoes and let dry. This is what mine looked like after one coat:


Blotchy, yes, but don't panic yet.

Step 5: Retrieve your glitter, using a funnel or whatever.


Step 6: When the shoes are dry, fill in the patchy areas the same way. Keep doing that until they're looking good. Once they're dry for the last time, stomp them on the ground outside (or somewhere easily cleaned up) to get as much extra glitter off as you can.



Mine lost some glitter on the first wearing, so I think I'm going to patch them up again and then maybe get a spray fixative to put on there (I think they make sprayable Mod Podge (!?!?!) so that might work.) And I might try mixing the glitter with the glue, next time, though from looking at other tutorials, it seems like that gives you more of a flat effect. But anyway, they held up better than I would've suspected. Do realize that you'll be leaving a trail of sparkly fairy poops wherever you go... so I suggest you go somewhere besides your house. Perhaps to the house of someone you don't like.

Friday, September 9, 2011

Multistrand Pearl Wedding Necklace

I wanted to share some photos of the necklace I made for my wedding, inspired by this tutorial.


I used a different sort of clasp, and let the strands get a bit more tangly than the original. Truth be told, I think I still like the original sliiiightly more... but I'm pretty happy with this.



...and now I have a ton of extra pearls to play with! Hmm...

(action shot by my wedding photographer, Nicole Ladonne.)


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